After a rough night of working on an operating systems problem set, I submitted the following notes for my grader along with my code. With my sincerest apologies to Margo & Eddie, Dr. Seuss, and Dennis Ritchie.
I do not like to code in C.
I do not like it, no, not me.
I do not like it on the stack.
I do not like it on a Mac.
I do not like it on the heap.
I do not like the lack of sleep.
I do not like it in a loop.
I do not like it in a group.
I do not like to code in C.
I do not like it, no, not me.
But hey, you say, is it that bad?
It's what your mom used, and your dad.
It's fast and slim, low-level too!
Accessible, for me and you!
Shut up, I say. Did you not hear?
Perhaps I didn't make it clear:
I do not like to code in C.
I do not like it. No. NOT me.
I do not care for pointer stars.
I want my strings instead of chars.
I do not want to malloc space
Then free it in some other place.
I hate behavior undefined.
Is my compiler fucking blind?!
I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT SHIT.
DON'T TAKE STUFF OUT, THEN FUCKING QUIT.
I swear to god, if you abort
I'll rip your bits out, port by port.
I do not like to code to C.
I do not like it, nO NOT ME!
Wow. Ok. Are you alright?
You're filled with quite a bit of spite.
See, C is like a Brussels sprout:
You chew it up, then spit it out.
You'll never like it, but it's good.
You did it once to prove you could.
I'm sorry, I don't eat my greens.
I don't get "close" to my machines.
I'd rather drink canary pee
Than try to exit gdb.
And should my doubles overflow:
I do not need you! LEAVE ME! GO!
I don't need valgrind telling me
of fifty-seven calls to free.
And two debuggers, just for C?
Hell, why not more? Let's make it three!
I prefer real demons in my nose
To the errors that this language throws.
I do not like to code in C.
I do not like it, NO. NOT. ME.
Well.
There may be things that C is not,
but there is one thing you forgot.
If you would like to get a job
Then C is what you're learning, snob.
By Anjali and Jacob
Disclaimer: I actually did love this class and C (and still do!)